I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
