He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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