cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
