Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
