No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
