I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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