Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I feel like death gave me a hand job
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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