Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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