Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
