She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The dick lei will go down in squad history
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
