rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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