somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
