I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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