You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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