you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
