i jhust puked up my retainher.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize