Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
