Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
