It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
