Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
