Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
