i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
