Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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