Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
