finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Alive.
So much puke
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
