I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
