You smell like stripper and shame
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
