dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
