they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Of course I have a pirate flag
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
