she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
