whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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