White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
