I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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