It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
