We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
