I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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