The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
