i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
