I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
