I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize