Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
