Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
