I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You are the jesus of drinking
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
