Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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