haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
