Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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