YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You may now shotgun with the bride
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
