Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
