bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
