the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
