I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize