Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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