oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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