fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
