I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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