she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
