im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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