my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
