HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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