she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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