i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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