Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
