"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
