I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
